<sorry for the thread drift here>
I've always hated this process too, but his time was much less painful. Here's what I did:
- Went to a local dealer to drive one. I told them I wasn't reading to buy today but asked what they were doing pricewise. He said they hadn't sold one under MSRP.
- Looked on the web and phone books for all Honda dealers within the 3 hour area I was willing to drive to. This included 3 of the 10 largest cities in the country (Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio) so I had lots of choices.
- Sent email, filled out web requests, and called any dealer that looked promising, asking them for their best price to make it worth my while to drive there, or keep my business local.
- Looked in the "Dealers/Your Experience" forum on this web site to see where people had good luck, and "Clubs" for my area on this site.
The DFW area club forum is where I found my best deal, and I called that dealer and said what I found here and asked if they would give me the same deal ($2000 off MSRP) and they did. I also described my trade in and asked for a price and they gave me a range. I made it clear I would drive away if they didn't honor that as I was describing the car accurately.
Not all dealers will deal on the phone or email, but many willl, and once you get a decent price it is a lot easier to deal with others. They will either beat it (or match it if they are closer), or you can thank them and hang up. If they are close keep them in case your best deal falls through.
You also need to get a bottom line price so you understand any processing fees, etc. They should be able to give you a VIN number and arrival date. Make it clear that you will walk (and report back here to other potential Pilot customers) if you get there and all is not what was agreed.
It's a bit more work but much more pleasant than being at the mercy of a salesman and manager playing their game on their turf. More like a dental checkup than surgery!