Ah.In this wacky car market, many dealers are not honoring the discount programs of the past. Costco, True Car, even GM supplier discounts or Ford affiliate programs such as the X plan. For a while some dealers weren't even accepting employee plans such as the Ford A and D until Ford stepped in and said they had to accept at least those. There is no need right now for dealers to use these programs due to the shortages of new and used inventory. They are marking up the MSRP with "Market Adjustment" fees, additional add ons such as the nitrogen fill, and very seldom selling even at MSRP.
You may find some dealers who are a bit more willing to deal but you have to really look long and hard.
I for the heck of it had Carvana give me a buy price on my 2019 Pilot Touring AWD with 27500 miles and noted it had a few chips on the hood. Their offer was $40770!!!! I paid $39,700 almost 3 years ago before taxes, fees, etc ($42500 out the door.) I would sell in a heart beat EXCEPT I would then have to replace it. As noted above the high trade in value is washed out by the high selling price of a new one. We are a one car family so it would have to be replaced.
I was in similar situation, wanted to Buy Pilot last year as 2nd Car. Was getting $10K discount too on Elite Trim. But due to COVID and WFH situation decided to wait and BOOM this chip shortage happened.
And after long wait, I finally bought 2021 EX-L Trim in Sep-2021 with $6K discount and settled for it. Needed a AWD before Winter so couldn't wait more. It was not as great a deal as I was getting last year but still very good in the current market.