A Mother's Vocabulary

[jay]

AMNESIA:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you
on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:
The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained
carrots.

FULL NAME:
What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

POW:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
clothes into it.

SHOW OFF:
A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your
last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:
Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT:
None of the kids that live in your house..

WEEKEND:
When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.

[h3xme]

I don't have any kids but enjoyed your definitions! I'm sure you wouldn't mind me forwarding them to friends of mine who do.

[jay]

Originally posted by h3xme
I don't have any kids but enjoyed your definitions! I'm sure you wouldn't mind me forwarding them to friends of mine who do.

I wouldn't mind at all, just like the guy who's email I swiped it from.