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03-26-2003, 12:32 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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'da Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Arlington Hts., IL
Posts: 7,969
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Pregnancy Q&A
I know a lot us us here are dealing with pregnancies..so here is some timely advise....
Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.
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2005 Blue Audi A4 Cabriolet 3.0 2011 Black Audi Q5 2.0T |
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03-26-2003, 12:35 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Super Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Southwest Florida
Posts: 1,547
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Oh - that's cute rami...
 LOVE the 2nd and last one!! 
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'03 Honda Pilot EXL - 30,808 - Sage Brush, Lower Trim w/Chrome & Fogs, Running Boards, Auto D/N Mirror, Cross Bars, Bumper & Mirror Chrome, Rear Splash, Cargo Tray, Cargo Organizer, All Season Mats, Back-up Sensors. |
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03-26-2003, 12:46 PM
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#3 (permalink) | |
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Le Moderator™ Ranger®
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Germantown, MD
Posts: 9,250
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Good thread, ramirami!!! Allow me to add to your humor....
A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!" She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise." "Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?" "Denephew. "
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03-26-2003, 12:50 PM
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#4 (permalink) | |
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'da Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Arlington Hts., IL
Posts: 7,969
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Quote:
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2005 Blue Audi A4 Cabriolet 3.0 2011 Black Audi Q5 2.0T |
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03-26-2003, 12:54 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Silicon Valley Piloting
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Campbell, CA
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a-ha, ramirami. I see another father-to-be having fun with pregnancy
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2003 Pilot EX-L <font color=gray>Starlight Silver</font> #71996 Running Boards, Cargo Cover, Cargo Net, Wheel Locks, <font color=orange>K</font>&<font color=red>N</font> Performance Air Filter, <font color=green>Castrol</font> <font color=red>GTX</font> 5W20, Rear Splash Guards, Cargo Tray and <font color=blue>Yakima bike mounts</font> Current San Jose Weather <img src ="http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/gizmotimetemp/US/CA/San_Jose.gif"> |
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03-26-2003, 12:56 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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'da Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Arlington Hts., IL
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my wife agrees with these so I am putting this up (hope I do not upset any pregnent women
 )...or I will be suffereing from #6 below...  10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-" 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting- practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space." 8.You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10.The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
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2005 Blue Audi A4 Cabriolet 3.0 2011 Black Audi Q5 2.0T |
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03-26-2003, 01:16 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Le Moderator™ Ranger®
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Germantown, MD
Posts: 9,250
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
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More Q&A
Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather then briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. Q. What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control? A. A misconception. Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy? A. Yes, your bladder. Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
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