florida_guy's misadventures

[florida_guy]

I'm thinking these stories might help you understand why I tend to be a bit careful about embarking on new things like say buying a $30k+ vehicle.

Introduction:

Some explanation is in order. These stories were originally written to post on the Exec-PC BBS (Bulletin Board System). Shortly after buying my first computer back in 1988 I joined Exec-PC where I quickly became on-line friends with a number of very technically astute individuals who were quite willing to teach me their computer knowledge. Back in those days I had very little technical knowledge to share in return. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I had a habit of experiencing bizarre problems both with regard to my computer, and life in general. My bad luck seemed so pervasive to my on-line friends that they decided that I had a "Black Cloud" following me around. They enjoyed my "Black Cloud stories" and as a result I received first class technical support and training from them both on-line and in person. I still keep in contact with them today through the internet and we always try to get together when I fly home to Wisconsin.

Most of these stories I center around my introduction to the great outdoors and fishing back in 1993 or so. You are going to need to know what I am talking about when I refer to my float boat. A float boat (as I called it) is a big black rubber truck tire inner tube inflated and encased in a nylon shell. The nylon shell creates a seat in the hole of the inner tube similar to an infants swing. You sit in it with your feet hanging down into the water and use fins to propel yourself backwards. You may wonder why anyone would fish in such a contraption.
Possible reason #1: They are too cheap to buy or rent a real boat.
Possible reason #2: They want to gain access to lakes that you cannot access by conventional boat.
For me reason #1 prevailed.

These stories you are for the most part, as they were originally posted on Exec. Little attempt to be grammatically correct is made when conversing in these informal on-line forums.

If you like the first one I have a few more.

[florida_guy]

Story #1 "Camping problems" refers to my first solo camping trip where I intended to catch fish on Long Lake, which is about 1.5 hours north of Milwaukee... I used a tent I borrowed from one of my on-line friends (Steve). Prior to doing this I had slept in my sleeping bag at a local park one night as kind of a trial run.

Leave home. Come back for forgotten stuff. Leave home. Stop on the way up at Sentry (a grocery store) for ketchup and cheese for the hamburgers I bought, and barbecue sauce for the chicken I bought.

Miss last turn leading to campground, but it turns out O.K. because I end up driving all the way around Long Lake and get a feel for what its like. Impressed by light traffic up there especially compared to the mess that confuction has made of traffic down here.

Arrive at campsite hoping I will get a sight. It's 12:30pm, so I'm 2.5 hours late. "She says go on in and pick an empty sight. Pick out 2 just in case there’s a reservation, but I have very few of them." I drive in and 90% of the sights are vacant. I pick what I consider to be the absolute premier sight in the whole thing even if none were occupied. It overlooks the lake. Few do, and none are on the lake. The only bad thing is it's one of the farthest from the lake, but I'm gonna need my car to get my float boat down to the lake anyway.

Register. Then drive down to the lake and to check it out before unpacking. I like what I see. Quiet, peaceful. Well behaved people except for one jerk who was playing his boat radio loud, and sound really carries up there.

Go to campsite. Admire view. Feel good. I'm here. I got a sight. Time to start relaxing. It's 1:30pm and prime fishing time (and No Wake for boats) is about 6:00pm, so I have 4.5 hours to unpack. No reason to rush. Take your time. First things first though.

I'm hungry. Where'd I hide the grill? Get the grill going. This should be a trip. I've literally never cooked anything on a grill by myself before. Unpack more, then get brave and decide to tackle tent. 1st efforts are not too successful. Decide to eat my barbecue chicken *with barbecue sauce*. It's pretty good. Good job Florida_guy. Unpack more. Now back to the tent. When Steve first showed me how to do it, one of the problems I had was not being able to get the elastic poles through the tent. Not so much this time, but it didn't want to raise up. Figure out that there must be a certain order that the poles go up. Can’t remember what Steve said about that. Consider calling him, but decide that by the time I drive to a phone I could figure it out by trial and error. Try a few ways. Then when I think that I've just about got it and I'll finally be able to start having some fun (it's about 4:30pm)... DISASTER! The knot gives way and snaps down into the pole. Try to repair it but there is no way to stretch the elastic so it will come back out the end of the pole. O.K. screw the tent. I slept without it the other night. Of course it wasn't hot and humid (i.e. bugs) but I'll live.

Pump up float boat with new compressor, so I can go fishing. (It's too late for the swimming and diving I'd planned on.) It works good. Now to do the air mattress... The adapters that are supposed to be with the thing aren't in the box, which I just opened for the first time. Fortunately I also brought my other pump along (The one the took 15 minutes to pump up the mattress.) I set it up. While doing so I get an idea. What if I tie a string to the end of the elastic to pull it through. I have string.

Back to repairing tent. I have trouble but I'm getting the job done. Just about have it and the knot I used to tie the string and elastic together gets caught on the last edge and gives way. The elastic snaps farther down into the pole. I try for a while longer, but it's hopeless. As I'm disassembling the tent I notice that the one I broke has some white elastic and some black while all the others have only black. Maybe this one had been broken before and was weak. Maybe I'm not such a complete catastrophe. No sooner is the thought out of my head that the cap on the pole I'm taking apart snaps off and now I have 2 broken poles. I try to find the cap, then, and repeatedly throughout the trip, but can’t. Later in the trip a guy I talked to said they sell those poles at K-Mart for $5 so I should be able to make Steve's tent good as new. I sure hope so anyway!! Anyway back to setting up camp... This is now about 2 hours later and the stupid air mattress still isn't pumped up. Is my pump broke too? Mess around with it. Try again. Some time later I discover there is a hole in my air mattress.

Repair air mattress with repair kit. Pump up mattress. I'm finally done setting up camp. It's about 9:00pm and it's been dark for a while. Decide to take bike ride to try to relax. Come back try to sleep. Can't sleep. Take long walk, it’s a good experience. Out there late at night. Stars. Quiet. Water. Go back to campsite. Try to sleep again. Neighbors are back at camp and making noise now, but I try. Neighbors go to sleep. I go to sleep for possibly 15 minutes. Wake up to raindrops on my face. Oh gawd. It wasn't supposed to rain according to the weatherman. It's light but I can't risk it. Throw all my stuff back in the car that can't get wet. By then it's stopped raining but I can't sleep. Take another walk. Come back. Start to doze off. Hear noise. Shine flashlight. There is a skunk trying to go through my garbage and he's 15' (I measured) away from me. He sees my light and runs into the weeds. I try to go back to sleep. I hear him again. I shine my light he stays. Now what do I do? I stay quiet until he leaves, unable to sleep. He leaves about 25 minutes later. Back to sleep. I was probably woken up every 15 or 20 minutes by bugs buzzing in my ears.

7:30am decide to get up. Not hungry for breakfast. Try fishing. Supposed to be hot so I don't wear my wet suit. Get cold, probably due to lack of sleep and food. Come back in. No fish.

Eat a little. Take bike ride. Take car ride. Get tired. Go back and take a nap. Only a few bugs this time. Go fishing again about 2:30pm. At about 3:40pm I catch a fish. Take picture of it next to my ruler. It's a perch 5" long. Fish more. Come in about 7:00pm after 4.5 hours. Just before I get to the pier I catch another 5" perch. That's all I caught though.

While I'm packing up my gear, a guy who went out the same time as I did comes back. He shows me his 25 nice Bluegills. He tells me where and how he caught them. I decide to try the next morning.

I go back to the campsite. I tell myself that I'm going to relax and enjoy a campfire, but I just don't want to face another night like last night. Especially since I have to work the next day and won't be able to sleep all afternoon. I think about the campfire, I think about possibly catching fish the next morning. I think about bugs in my ears and having to pack and rush home after fishing. I decide to pack and go home. It's about 7:45pm and starting to get dark, so I hussle.

While packing I lose the cover that keeps the air from leaking out of my air mattress. It's dark by then. I use my flashlight but can't find it. Say good-bye to my nice neighbors who are well aware of my misadventures. Drive down for one last look at the lake and I head home. It's foggy! I get lost twice because of it. I get home and I'm hungry. I open the car door where my cooler is so I can eat what's inside when I get upstairs and my lantern falls out. It's o.k. but the batteries fall out. I can only find 7 of the 8 it uses. I climb the stairs. It's 11:15pm. I eat a little and barely remember hitting the pillow.

BTW I forgot to take my pillow up there.

[Sage]

Love camping myself - yes I do - in my 33" Motorhome. Sold it though. Ah yes... the roaring fires, the guy with the guitar. And the snakes and the bugs and the critters. No thanks.

[TheWorm]

Safe to assume you won't be installing your own accessories, eh?

[FLPilot]

Man, we either have the same cloud over us (looking outside and it really is cloudy and dark ) or maybe it is just a disease we have. It seems that no matter where I go, if I don't abide by my system I always forget something. Then if I think I have everything, I get somewhere and find out that I really didn't remember everything. Of course that is just the beginning and then it seems like all hell breaks loose, like your trip (ok maybe not so bad). Anyway, you brought up a good idea. Last time I went camping it was at least three years ago. Not that I had a bad time, just never been the type to really camp (I agree with Sage when it comes to camping), but I do have a tent and an air mattress. I went camping up in Orange City I think (Blue Springs State Park), just north of Orlando. It is pretty cool there, and if any one dives, they have a natural spring you can dive that has railroad tracks in it and other cool things. Hey they even have cabins we can rent. Anyway, if you had that bad of a time and this is only bringing back bad memories we can think of something else to do as a group.

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by Sage
Love camping myself - yes I do - in my 33" Motorhome. Sold it though. Ah yes... the roaring fires, the guy with the guitar. And the snakes and the bugs and the critters. No thanks.

I enjoy camping if a group wants to go. Other than that it's more just cheap lodgiing, then it's off hiking, bicycling, swimming, don't spend much time around camp.

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by TheWorm
Safe to assume you won't be installing your own accessories, eh?

I have a guy on retainer to change my lightbulbs.

Not really but I am definitely "manual dexterity challenged"

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by FLPilot
Man, we either have the same cloud over us (looking outside and it really is cloudy and dark ) or maybe it is just a disease we have.

I don't know but I wore a badge for 12 years myself.

I went camping up in Orange City I think (Blue Springs State Park), just north of Orlando. It is pretty cool there, and if any one dives, they have a natural spring you can dive that has railroad tracks in it and other cool things. Hey they even have cabins we can rent. Anyway, if you had that bad of a time and this is only bringing back bad memories we can think of something else to do as a group.

I love the springs. I used to dive but it's been a long time. I love to snorkel though. I've been to Blue Springs a number of times.

[Bigrob]

It takes a big man to laugh at himself. You must be a VERY big man. Thanks for sharing your story!

Realistically, we probably all have horror stories of one type or another to tell.

[kemosabe]

Originally posted by Bigrob
It takes a big man to laugh at himself. You must be a VERY big man. Thanks for sharing your story!

Realistically, we probably all have horror stories of one type or another to tell.

florida_guy's a good Florida guy.... he's taken everything (jokes, pictures, comments) that I've thrown at him with a good sense of humor!!! Secretly, though, I think he's out to get me...

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by Bigrob
It takes a big man to laugh at himself. You must be a VERY big man. Thanks for sharing your story!

Realistically, we probably all have horror stories of one type or another to tell.

6' 1.5" and 188 lbs. approximately. Glad you enjoyed it.

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by kemosabe


florida_guy's a good Florida guy.... he's taken everything (jokes, pictures, comments) that I've thrown at him with a good sense of humor!!! Secretly, though, I think he's out to get me...

[florida_guy]

If you haven't read the introduction which is the first message of this thread, you should before you read what follows...

Today at my tennis league I was talking to one of the other guys in my league about my fishing. He invited me to his pond, which he said was stocked with Bluegills and Largemouth Bass. I jumped at the chance because it was only 3 acres (perfect for Float Boating) and it is fairly close to my house. It got even better when he offered to let me use his little Jon Boat with trolling motor! It was supposed to be cold and windy today. Not ideal Float Boat weather!

I was fishing for about a half hour without success. I was having trouble getting used to the trolling motor and the wind was giving me fits. Fortunately I brought along my Float Boat anchor, because there wasn't one in the boat. I got a strike but missed the fish, so I wanted to anchor and stay at that spot. I threw out my anchor and started to tie it down when I got another strike. A few minutes later I landed an 8" largemouth bass. Then I reached down to finish tying down my anchor... It had gone overboard!

This contraption cost me about $25 and an hour or so of labor to mark the anchor line for depth. Fortunately I was prepared for this type of emergency and I had a floating marker along. I threw it over and headed for the nearest shore. I got out and took off my warm up. I had my swimsuit underneath. I waded into the water. Uh NO! Sorry, too cold! Drive home to get wet suit, mask fins and snorkel. Go back. Suit up. Listen to teasing from my friend’s wife. Jump in. Swim over to my marker. Dive. Dive again. Dive again... Find anchor!! Great! That wasn't bad. As long as I'm in here I might as well snoop around for some fish. Swim over to shore to throw anchor up on shore. Decide to climb up on shore to rest a minute. The pond goes from 0 to 9 feet in one step off the shore. As I'm climbing out my weight belt catches on the shore and falls down into the 9' of water!!

So I saved my $25 anchor and lost my $45 weight belt in the process. You say, "Why don't you just dive down and get it?" The purpose of the weight belt is to offset the buoyancy of the wet suit. I need the weight belt to dive down and get the weight belt! As my friends wife who is watching all of this chuckles she mentions that their neighbor is a diver. I go and ask. He looks, but can't find his weight belt. I decide to try a few times. Otherwise I'll have to get a belt from my instructor, and come back another day. With practice I am able to get to the bottom but I can't stay down long. Bad thing is there is muck down there and so I can't see the belt, so I have to grope. Much groping and about 20 dives and I feel it! I come up knowing that I will get it on the next dive. As I come up I realize that one of my fins has fallen off!!! No they don't float! Now I don't know if I will be able to get down to get the belt after all because the fins are what I'm using to propel me downward. I'm pissed. I have adrenaline. I get the belt.

Now I've lost a $89 pair of fins saving my weight belt, which I lost saving my anchor. One good thing is that I have my belt to help me down, but only one fin. Bad thing is my fin is black and so is the muck. More groping. 25-30 dives later I find it! Throw it on shore...

For some reason I decide not to temp fate and don't go looking for fish after all. Spend another 2 hours fishing. Catch nothing.

Good thing is that I have an open invitation to go back and to use the boat. This will allow me to get an idea of what kind of boat I want to buy next spring, and allow me to not freeze my noogies off in my float boat as the weather gets colder.

[Sage]

And just how many times DID your friends suggest that you use the anchor as a weight belt??

Too funny Florida_guy! OK Florida Forum members... diving is OFF the list!!

[FLPilot]

florida_guy: After reading that, I have reconsidered going to Blue Springs camping and diving the spring/cave there with you. I'm thinking I get into enough trouble by myself.

On a serious note, I'm glad that you were able to get all of your equipment back safely. We just had a couple yesterday dive off of Ft. Lauderdale probably 100ft of so. Came up and they are both in the hospital. Guess they came up to quick. He is in ICU and she is on life support. Doesn't look good for her.