>Rules from the Man's Side

[PrG]

> >Some man kept getting all these "rules from the woman's side" emails so he
> >figured it was time for a "rules from the man's side" email. These are our
> >rules! Learn them, memorize them and use them! Please note these are all
> >numbered "1" for a reason!
> >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> >down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you
> >leaving it down.
> >1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> >1. Saturday = Sports
> >1. Crying is blackmail.
> >1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
> >work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >1. We don't remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us
> >frequently.
> >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> >we
> >do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >1. Check your oil! Please.
> >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> >all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> >answer that question anymore.
> >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
> >makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >1. Let us look. It doesn't hurt anyone, to look. And for us, it's genetic.
> >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >commercials.
> >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
> >color. We
> >have no idea what mauve is.
> >1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
> >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will believe you.
> >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> >1. You have enough clothes.
> >1. You have too many shoes.
> >1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
> >No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
> >1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
> >Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> >tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[kemosabe]

Man vs. woman:

[kemosabe]

What kids are learning in Math class....

[Sage]

Originally posted by kemosabe
Man vs. woman:

I love this one! Ain't it the truth!!

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by PrG
Rules from the Man's Side
Some man kept getting all these "rules from the woman's side" emails so he
figured it was time for a "rules from the man's side" email. These are our
rules! Learn them, memorize them and use them! Please note these are all
numbered "1" for a reason!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you
leaving it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Saturday = Sports
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us
frequently.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer that question anymore.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us look. It doesn't hurt anyone, to look. And for us, it's genetic.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will believe you.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

So funny and true (for the most part) that I saved it off to a file. After stripping the > >s out. I quoted it back without them for the convenience or you and anyone else who wants to save it.

[kemosabe]

Time for florida_guy to get married....

[florida_guy]

Originally posted by kemosabe
Time for florida_guy to get married....

One little typo and I pay for it forever.

[kemosabe]

The Perfect Female....

[kemosabe]

...to go along with The Perfect Male!!!

[Ziploc]

Originally posted by kemosabe
Man vs. woman:

Kemosabe, I have to admit you nailed this one.