Tennessee Engineering Exam

[Older than dirt]

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
'66 Ford Fairlane
'69 Chevrolet Chevelle
'64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawed pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?
For extra credit how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

9. A Coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

[Sage]

Love # 10!!!

[Ziploc]

My husband is a Tennessee born-and-bred mechanical engineer, a graduate of Univ. of Tennessee, and a southerner with a sense of humor who should be able to ACE your exam, Older than Dirt!

[Older than dirt]

Share it at your own risk!!! I'm a transplanted Marylander who has now become an honorary southerner...

[melandmal]

Too funny. That exam could apply to most southern states. For what it's worth, my dad, who is from TN, went to UT and was an engineer at NASA and then TVA. My mother holds a graduate degree from UT. I, also from TN, hold a graduate degree from the George Washington University in DC. I guess that there are some "smart" people to come from TN. I always love going back to Knoxville, but only to visit, and of course for football games. Go VOLS!

[Older than dirt]

[melandmal]

I can hear Rocky Top playing in my head.

[Older than dirt]

Rocky Top

[Older than dirt]

Wish that I was on ol' ROCKY TOP,
Down in the Tennessee hills;
Ain't no smoggy smoke on ROCKY TOP,
Ain't no telephone bills.
Once I had a girl on ROCKY TOP,
Half bear, other half cat;
Wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.

(Chorus)
ROCKY TOP, you'll always be
Home sweet home to me;
Good ol' ROCKY TOP--
ROCKY TOP Tennessee.

Once two strangers climbed ol' ROCKY TOP
Looking for a moonshine still;
Strangers ain't come down from ROCKY TOP
Reckon they never will.
Corn won't grow on ROCKY TOP
Dirt's too rocky by far;
That's why all the folks on ROCKY TOP
Get their corn from a jar.

(Chorus)

[melandmal]

That made my day. Oh, how do I love my VOLS. Nothing like watching the VOLS run through the T for the first game of the season.

[Ziploc]

Originally posted by Older than dirt
Share it at your own risk!!! I'm a transplanted Marylander who has now become an honorary southerner...

Not to worry! My husband--the transplanted Tennessean who's now an honorary Marylander--will take no offense.

However, even after 30 years "living among the Yankees," he does still take those Tennessee Vols very seriously. If it involved poking fun at the Vols, I'd think twice!