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Old 02-18-2003, 04:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
PrG
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This is the funniest thing I have read in a while.......ha

I wish I could think this quick!


I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please.?

ME: May I ask who is calling.?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad.
Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello.?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week.?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!!
That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.?

AT&T: Excuse me.?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about.?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year.
I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme.?
I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.?

ME: Yeth.?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

ME: Is This A T &T.?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T: click........
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Old 02-18-2003, 05:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh - That is SOOOOO good!
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Old 02-18-2003, 06:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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need to do this when the telemarketer calles this evening
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Old 02-18-2003, 10:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have Caller ID and when I can tell it's a telemarketer calling, I let my two year old son answer it and let him jibber-jabber until the guy/gal on the other end eventually hangs up!
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