Upgrade ?

[PrG]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
that
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
modules,
limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such

as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and
NBA
3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

---- Desperate



Dear Desperate:
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT
YOU
LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse
can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or
Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring
Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and
will
crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I
personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3. Also, running Nagging 5.3 too
often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly install Mistress
1.0,
which would then require you to run Private Investigator 7.5 utility
and
possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could lead to a system wide failure
and
the
need to reboot Husband 1.0!

Everybody clear on this now?

Tech support

[Len]

Wife 1.0 Tech Support
> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
> began unexpected child processing that took up
> a lot of space and valuable resources. No
> mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installs itself into all other programs and
> launches during system initialization,
> where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
> Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of
> my other favorite applications. I am thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> uninstall does not work on this program.
> Can you help me, please!!!
> Thanks, A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 -- I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.
Tech Support.

[pre-sage pilot]

you guys coukd start a comedy act, I am rotf,lmao.
thanx for making my day!