Haiku poetry

[Older than dirt]

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second line, 5 in the third line. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan. Below, the essence of Zen.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.



You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again.

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge.

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

************
The local newspaper had a contest last year about these. Here are a few of them

I've heard your language
Has only ones and zeroes
Why no "you" and "me

It silently slows
The computer has frozen
Like an arctic stream

Clear, blue sky of death
Windows fatal exception
Reboot, clouds return

Windows 95
Has at last revived old love
For my ballpoint pen

Gentle blue seascape
Fish swim slowly through my den
Go screensaver go

Repent and reboot
When all about is chaos
Control Alt Delete

All mine yesterday
Then the children came to play
Where are my icons?

Should there be Honda Haikus???

[Tony]

V TEC Engine Roars
V T M 4 locks in rear
Away Pilot Goes

[Evergreen]

Out on the freeway
or off road in the back wood
she handles so well

I wait for the cold
a storm with might and fury
to pilot in the snow

Guinness Becks Amstel
Heineken Bitburg Budvar
tell your preference

I love my color
so vibrant sleek and pretty
why discontinue?

Evergreen

[Older than dirt]

Excellent!!!

[havasu]

Reminds me of cat haiku..
I was going to just post one or two, but am reminded of how TRUE they all are! couldn't resist.

This first one is my personal favorite.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much"

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt.

[Older than dirt]

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.


Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I celebrate
By kissing your face.


I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!


I sound the alarm!
Garbage man--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!


I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot-
Sniff this and weep


I Hate my choke chain--
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!


Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot--no greater bliss--well,
Maybe catching cats.


Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

[Older than dirt]

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look!

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the little box
With Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

[havasu]

It had to be...
"Car Haiku" on the car talk web site.
http://cartalk.cars.com/features/haiku/haiku21.html

Here are a few of my favorites

Objects in mirror
Are closer than they appear,
So back off, jack-ass.

Dedicated to BPilot and ablatt:
There's this funny noise;
it only happens sometimes.
Yeah, lady, sure, sure.

Dedicated to the Zaino fans:
Glistening like new,
fresh wax job like a beacon...
birds perfect their aim.

For those with mystery ignition problems:
Will it start this time?
Whenever I turn the key
I can only pray

[Older than dirt]

Some days I want a
Beater car so I can bash
Cars that park too close