Honda Humor

[PrG]

Comfortable Honda

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.

"What can I do for ya'll?" asks the attendant.

"Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver.

While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."

"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 2003 Honda Pilot."

"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.

"Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a CD player with 100 watts per channel, 7 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, ABS disk brakes all around, leather interior, cool instrument package, and best of all, a 240 hp V6 engine."

"Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!"

"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.

"That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees.

"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.

"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.

"Wow," says the attendant, "those Honda people think of everything!"

PrG

[RipRocK]

LOL! A good joke that combines two of my favorites things, golf and the Pilot. Good one!

[Tony]

[xyzzy]

So there was this guy, and he farted a lot. Suddenly, every time he farted, he went, "HONDA!"

Well you can just imagine. He'd be in a restaurant, some social function, at work, and there he'd be saying "Hi, howare ya? FFFFFFFFFFFFT--HONDA!" without any warning.

This was embarassing to him and his friends. Days went by and this would happen all the time, and now his friends didn't want to be seen with him.

So he goes to his doctor, "hey doc, every time I fart, I go "HONDA!". Can you help? So the doctor checks him out, gives him a complete physical. Can't find anything wrong. He goes to specialist after specialist, trying to get himself cured, but nobody can figure out what the problem is.

A few weeks go by and now he only has one friend left in the whole world, and even he is getting sick of it. "Hey pal" his friend said, "I'm your last friend on earth, everybody's deserted you. You've got a serious problem here, but I may have a solution."

So he gives him the name of an acupuncturist, an old Chinese guy. "This guy is brilliant. If he can't cure you, nobody can. Just do exactly what he tells you, even if it seems a little wierd."

So our friend says "Gee thanks, I'll give him a FFFFFFFFFFFFT-HONDA! call today."

So this guy goes to the acupuncturist, who is really ancient, looks like he's 200 years old. Very wise. And the acupuncturist checks him out, gives him a complete physical. He looks at him and says, "Go See Dentist."

"Huh?"

"Go see dentist!"

So he thinks, well, this guy must know what he's talking about but I have no idea. He goes to the dentist, who checks him out and sure enough, finds an abscess tooth. He pulls the tooth and as you could imagine the guy is real nervous and he's so nervous that, just after the tooth is yanked, he farts. And then, nothing.

No HONDA! He couldn't believe it--he's cured!

He jumps out of the dentist's chair. He farts again--again no more HONDA!

So he gets back to the acupuncturist and he's thrilled. "Thank you, thank you," he said. "But tell me, how did you know that the abscess tooth is what was making me go HONDA every time I farted?

The old man looked at him and said, "old Chinese saying...abscess makes the fart go HONDA!"

[autobahn]

Good one. I remember hearing this one on the Greaseman Show many years ago.