Things kids say...

[wstromer]

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you have to look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

Drew (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

CAMERON (age 5) was getting ready for his bath one evening and broke wind in front of his father and then he quickly commented, "My hiney burped."

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) Leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, what is butt dust?"

[jay]

When my younger brother was 5 or so, he was mouthing off to our Mom. She yelled at him "Don't you sass me!"

He crawled under an end table in the living room, stuck his head out and screamed "SASS, SASS, SASS!"

I was 8 at the time, saw it all happen, and just about busted a gut laughing.

Eventually Mom was able to laugh about it as well.

[jay]

A while after the story I posted above, my Mom, brother and me were talikng over dinner in our rented house with oil heat. I remember telling her that when I grew up I was going to buy her an all-electric house.

My brother, figuring he had to do something too, told her that he was going to buy her an electric chair.

[74PILOTMOM]

When I was 15 or so, my family was having an argument at the dinner table. My VERY intelligent little 3 year old adopted brother was just quietly watching us bicker back and forth, when he finally decided to end the argument for us; with crossed arms and a stern look on his face, this adorable tiny Korean boy looked at all of us and said, "I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE A KID WHO SAW FIGHTS!!!"
Cracked us up and to this day we have no idea what we were even fighting about.

Also this same little boy, at the same age, knew how much church meant to our mother. He was being punished for something he had done, and to try hurting my Mom back, he plainly stated. "Oh yeah, well Jesus doesn't LOVE me. Hmph" And stormed off.

My own son at 2 years old was big into the American flag, had to tell us all about them everytime we'd drive by one. One day the car windows were down and he saw one. So he yells "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!!!"

My oldest son was taking a shower with me and decided to soap up my feet and ankles. So proud of the work he was doing on my ankle bones, he told me "See mommy, I'm washing your balls"

Oh yeah, one more. I just heard this one last night about my 3 year old Nephew. He was in the bedroom watching a movie when Dad came in fresh out of the shower, of course getting dressed in front of the 3 year old. This little guy comes out of the bedroom and tells my sister, sounding all dejected, "I have a very tiny weiner."

[ramirami]

Originally posted by 74PILOTMOM


My oldest son was taking a shower with me and decided to soap up my feet and ankles. So proud of the work he was doing on my ankle bones, he told me "See mommy, I'm washing your balls"

for a period of a month or so my (now 2.5 year old) son would some how mispronounce "Thank You" to sound like F$%K You..... we who had been teaching him to say Thank you to people..would go red with embarrassment every time he did it...

[74PILOTMOM]

2 of my kids managed to always say a version of that too...It always came out 'FANK you'

Oh I forgot about this one. My step dad had taken my sister and me to the grocery store, where there happened to be a little person shopping in the same aisle.
My sister (age 4) then yells "There's a midget in the store
!!! there's a midget in the store!!!"
That poor Man. My poor step Dad.

[mricks2001]

My 5 year old had "Family Day" at school and all parents were invited to attend. Each child stood in front of the class and told the audience what they wanted to be when they grow up. One little girl who is a dwarf said she wanted to be a nurse, my son leans in towards me really loud and says "Does she know she's not going to grow up? She's got to stay that size! I stopped beathing for a long time.

[Titans Fan]

Back when "Toy Story" was popular, I'm sure I'm not the only one who overheard a young kid announce (in church), "MOM! I want to play with my Woody!"

[ramirami]

my son (2.5 years) has been sick so he has been home.... yesterday I was home with him....

I had to take an important meeting , which I called into. Luckly he fell asleep before it started... however he was up in the middle of it... he came and rested on my sholder while I continued on the call...

when I call was done he asks me " What did your teacher say? Did she say that you could go and sleep with me ."

[wstromer]

My 7 year old little boy is always looking for the latest in toys. If it's squishy, gooey, messy, whatever....he wants it.

We were watching some news program on plastic surgery and they showed several doctors handling different sizes of breast implants. He piped up and asked me if those were toys because they looked like they could be lots of fun.

I thought about this for a second and told him yes they were.

Astute little guy.