Funny News Stories

[Tim]

The Little Matterhorn in the Swiss Alps is about to get bigger after officials announced plans to build an 'extension'.

The 3,883 metre high Klein Matterhorn is overshadowed by its bigger brother which, at 4,478 metres, is the seventh highest mountain in the Alps.

But officials from the local tourism board in Zermatt say that is about to change and they are going to add 120 metres to the mountain in the form of a glass pyramid.

Spokeswoman Eva Flatau said: "We're going to build a pyramid on top of the Klein Matterhorn so that it reaches over 4,000 metres. This will give it more prestige among mountain climbers and will increase the number of tourists."

The pyramid will include viewing platforms, a restaurant and even a few rooms where visitors can stay overnight.

Building on the mountain's extension will begin next year.

[Tim]

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A new television reality show invites porn stars to test their serious acting abilities in London's theater district, raising the question: Debbie can do Dallas, but can she take on Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard?"

"My Bare Lady" will cast four leading ladies from U.S. porn studios in a classic piece of drama to be performed in London's West End. Their experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience will air in three episodes on the Fox Reality cable and satellite channels this fall.

"It's a wonderful tale of redemption," said David Lyle, general manager of Fox Reality. "Do they want lines that are a little more challenging than 'Oh, here's the pool guy...'?"

"Debbie Does Dallas" was a 1978 porn film about the misadventures of a young woman who becomes a cheerleader for a Texas football team.

The show's concept is rooted in the bankable plot conflict of many television "reality" shows, taking people out of their accustomed element to see how they fare.

Like Eliza Doolittle learning to speak proper English in "My Fair Lady," these women must overcome a challenge formidable to any actor. "If they can move a London theater audience to applaud, they have done pretty well," said Lyle.

The show will be co-produced with the UK's Zig Zag Productions. Fox Reality is a division of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.

[Tim]

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian restaurant was fined 688 euros ($855) for displaying live lobsters on ice to attract patrons, in an innovative application of an anti-cruelty law usually affecting to household pets.

A court in the northeastern city of Vicenza ruled the display was a form of abuse dooming the crustaceans to a slow death by suffocation.

"We're appealing," said Giuseppe Scalesia, who runs La Conchiglia D'Oro, or "Golden Shell," restaurant along with his brother Camillo.

"They said that the lobsters, laying on the ice, suffer... They compared them in court to other animals, like cats and dogs."

The case was brought by Gianpaolo Cecchetto, a former environmental activist, who took his two young children to the Vicenza restaurant in May 2002.

"They were shocked by the display," Cecchetto told Reuters, adding he immediately got in touch with the ENPA national animal protection entity. "ENPA took care of the lawyers and legal proceedings."

Italy has some of the world's toughest animal rights laws. The city of Rome in October banned goldfish bowls, seen as cruel, while Turin passed a law last year that would fine dog owners 500 euros unless they walked their canine friends at least three times a day.

(Mmmmm..........lobsters)..........

[ramirami]

A 14 1/2-foot crocodile mauled a chainsaw a worker was using Friday to clear up debris left by a tropical storm that lashed northern Australia. While the croc and worker were both uninjured, the saw's woodcutting days are over.

Freddy Buckland was cutting up a tree that fell against a crocodile enclosure at the Corroboree Park Tavern, 50 miles east of the northern port city of Darwin when the crocodile, called Brutus, apparently took exception to the chainsaw's noise and attacked.

"As he was trimming up the tree on the outside the croc jumped out of the water and sped along the tree about 18, 20 feet and actually grabbed the chainsaw out of his hands," said Peter Shappert, the tavern's owner.

"It must have been the noise ... I don't think he was actually trying to grab Freddy, but I'm not sure. He had a fair go at him ... I think he just grabbed the first thing he could and it happened to be the chainsaw," Shappert added.

Neither Buckland nor Brutus were injured.

The saltwater crocodile, which Shappert said he now is considering renaming Two-stroke in honor of the saw's fuel, appeared to like the snack.

"He chewed on the chainsaw for about an hour-and-a-half, then we finally got it out," Shappert said, adding that the saw was destroyed when it finally was retrieved from Brutus' giant jaws.

Saltwater crocodiles have been known to attack small power boats, apparently because they do not like the noise of outboard motors.

[Tim]

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio - Police who charged a Cincinnati couple with stealing a big-screen television said they should have thought about a bigger car.

Police stopped Richard and Stephanie North early Wednesday when they noticed their Mercury Sable going down a road with one of the doors open. Police found a 55-inch flat-screen TV on the back seat, hanging out the door.

Earlier, police had responded to an alarm at a TV and appliance store where the window on the front door was smashed out and a Hitachi flat-panel television was missing.

Richard North was charged with breaking and entering and felony theft. His wife was charged with complicity.

[Tim]

Originally posted by ramirami
A 14 1/2-foot crocodile mauled a chainsaw

check back 4 post before yours...........

[ramirami]

Originally posted by Tim
check back 4 post before yours...........

I dont look backwards... I give a 110% and only look forward....

[Tim]

Originally posted by ramirami
I give a 110%

sorry, just not possible in this universe. (nothing personal)..............

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by Tim
sorry, just not possible in this universe. (nothing personal)..............

You don't understand, since he is a liberal, the laws of nature (economics, energy conversion, and social interaction) don't apply to him.

[Tim]

Originally posted by N_Jay


You don't understand, since he is a liberal, the laws of nature (economics, energy conversion, and social interaction) don't apply to him.

[ramirami]

Originally posted by N_Jay


You don't understand, since he is a liberal, the laws of nature (economics, energy conversion, and social interaction) don't apply to him.

I thought thanking God and giving 110% went hand in hand.... ask any professional athlete...

[ramirami]

Originally posted by Tim
sorry, just not possible in this universe. (nothing personal)..............

when you "bring you A-game" ...give a "total team effort"...... "play your hearts out" ... "snatch victory from the jaws of defeat" ... "win it for your fans".... you give a 100%

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by ramirami


when you "bring you A-game" ...give a "total team effort"...... "play your hearts out" ... "snatch victory from the jaws of defeat" ... "win it for your fans".... you give a 100%

Well, actually you are giving a amount that asymptotically approaches you perception of 100%, yet from an impartial observer, might be seen as only a fraction of what would be considered 100%!

RE: Some of your previous posts.

[ramirami]

Originally posted by N_Jay


yet from an impartial observer,

[Tim]

Originally posted by ramirami


I thought thanking God and giving 110% went hand in hand.... ask any professional athlete...

one more reason I only watch NASCAR..........