Funny News Stories

[rocky]

What never seen a naked woman drinking beer?????

Or three at the same time???????

[Tim]

Originally Posted by rocky

What never seen a naked woman drinking beer?????

Or three at the same time???????

Beer?........no

Champagne is another story............

[rocky]

Wasteful use of condoms


Lee County woman finds gas tank filled with condoms Naples Daily News

[rocky]

At-Risk Survivor: Mexican Divorce

[rocky]

You can't escape in a Ford Escape....

YouTube - ‪Raw Video: SUV Runs Over Police Car‬‎

YouTube - ‪Raw Video: SUV Runs Over Police Car‬‎

[rocky]

How did I miss this incredibly important news story? (sarcasm off)

Obama-Related Alien Attack Imminent, Warns Alien Prophetess

Video from the story below

YouTube - Ultimatum to Obama and all Hostiles, Surrender or Die!

YouTube - Ultimatum to Obama and all Hostiles, Surrender or Die!

[Tim]

TUCSON (Reuters) - Arizona drivers were warned of the undead roaming a desert highway near Tucson over the weekend, after a suspected prankster tampered with an electronic road sign, police and news media said.

Someone without a good grasp of spelling reprogrammed a digital road sign on a highway near Marana, northwest of Tucson, to read "Caaution Zombies ahead!," the Arizona Daily Star newspaper reported on Monday.

Marana Police Department said it appeared to be a practical joke.

"We didn't get any complaints or any other problems in the area... (and) no reports of zombies," Sergeant Chris Warren told Reuters.

"Sometimes those boxes are just left open and if somebody knows how to do it they can just go over to it, open it up and just start typing."

Arizona desert drivers warned of zombies ahead | Reuters

[Tim]

SALMON, Idaho (Reuters) – An Idaho judge has set bond at $100,000 for a Boise woman police say posed as a physician and duped at least two other women into having their breasts examined by her at Boise-area nightclubs.

Kristina Ross, 37, remains in Ada County Jail in Boise on two felony counts of practicing medicine without a license.

Police say Ross introduced herself to victims -- one at a downtown Boise bar and the other at a nightclub in a Boise suburb -- as a plastic surgeon named Berlyn Aussieahshowna, a name that turned out to be bogus.

The two women told Boise officers they believed Ross was a physician because of her apparent medical knowledge, and they agreed to undergo what they thought were breast exams, which happened at the bars.

As part of her ruse, Ross gave the women the telephone number of a real licensed plastic surgeon in Boise, the state capital, authorities said.

Staff at that medical office became alarmed at the number of calls they received from women in recent weeks attempting to confirm appointments or surgeries with a Berlyn Aussieahshowna, according to charging documents.

Medical workers on Tuesday alerted Boise police about the pattern, and they later arrested Ross.

The suspect's gender is unclear. Idaho court records show that Ross was arrested for petty theft in the spring and that the arrest warrant was issued to a Kristoffer Jon Ross.

The Idaho Statesman website reported that Ross has a previous criminal record as a man but identifies herself as a woman and was booked into Ada County Jail as a female.

Cosmetic surgical procedures Ross discussed with victims after she touched their breasts under the guise of a medical evaluation included breast augmentation and liposuction.

The court on Wednesday found Ross was eligible for a public defender and set a preliminary hearing on the two felony charges for December 1. If convicted, Ross could face a maximum of five years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000 for each count.

Fake doctor jailed for giving breast exams in bars - Yahoo! News

[Tim]

SENECA, SC (WCSC) - A burglary call for Oconee County sheriff's deputies turned bizarre Monday morning when their suspect was found naked with a USB-powered computer peripheral in his rectum and apparently drugged, an incident report shows.

Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 24, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim's home, the report stated.

When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.

With reinforcements, deputies approached Smith again in the victim's bedroom. A deputy managed to handcuff Smith before he jumped off the victim's bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room, the report stated.

Then, according to the report, Smith was pepper sprayed. Undeterred, Smith continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. He was struck with a police baton several times, and Smith attempted to bite the deputy.

Smith's head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting. He was wrestled down so shackles could be placed on his legs and his arms were hog-tied, the report stated. An EMS crew responded and provided a stretcher to which Smith was also tied.

Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim's home.

During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a USB cord hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed the culprit -- a mouse -- lodged inside Smith.

He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.

After the medical exam, he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges, and indecent exposure. Smith was transported to the Oconee County Detention Center.

Naked man with mouse lodged in rectum tased, arrested - WIS News 10 - Columbia, South Carolina |

[casio]

A mouse and a usb cord inside him wow!
he must have been an nightmare for those deputies who might have assumed it to be an easy case off for them

[Tim]

A German couple have been taken to court because their bed made too much noise during their lovemaking.

Police received ten complaints from neighbours of the pair in the city suburb of Lichtenberg on the night in question

Stefanie Mueller, 24, faced a fine for one night of passion with partner Lucas Zetsch, 25, that woke up the neighbourhood.

Police said they received ten complains from neighbours of the pair in the city suburb of Lichtenberg on the night in question in July this year.

The pair were summoned under anti noise-pollution laws but they refused to pay the £86 penalty.

This led to a court hearing in Berlin where Miss Mueller, a hotel worker, said; "We weren't that loud." The judge said; "Perhaps not you, but your bed. We have witness statements that it was heard banging and squeaking around the neighbourhood from 11.30pm until 1.00am the next morning." Mr Zetsch told the court: "It was totally normal sex, nothing exciting" – a remark which earned him a scornful look from Miss Mueller, who snapped: "Thanks – that was nice." Then she left the court.

The judge threw the case out as the complainants did not show up for the hearing.

German couple in court over 'squeaky bedsprings' sex - Telegraph

[dgipalo]

Originally Posted by casio

A mouse and a usb cord inside him wow!
he must have been an nightmare for those deputies who might have assumed it to be an easy case off for them

Maybe he was tying to bring the 'gerbiling' urban legend to life.