The Truth About Cars 2006 Ten Worst Automobiles Today

[N_Jay]

At first I was going to put this is "humor" but realized it was "news"
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The Truth About Cars 2006 Ten Worst Automobiles Today (TWAT) Awards: The Winners
By Frank Williams
November 13th, 2006

The polls are closed. We've tallied and rank-ordered the votes. You, TTAC's ever faithful and always vocal readers, have selected the Ten Worst Automobiles Today (TWAT) from all the vehicles for sale in the US during calendar year 2006. If you missed the festivities, you can click on "Editorials" at the top of this page, then on "TWAT" on the left side of the screen to see the previous posts and comments on the subject. Some of the votes were pretty close (only 35 votes separated the 10th place winner from the first runner-up at number 11), while others ran away from the pack from the very beginning. OK... I know what's good for me, so I'll shut up and tell you who won. Here they are, starting with 10th place and counting down to number one, the winners of the 2006 TTAC Ten Worst Automobiles Today awards:

10. Chevrolet Aveo Chevy likes to tout the Aveo as the "lowest-priced [new] car in America." In spite of their warning "content may vary," it's easy to see how they achieved that goal. From the hollow-sounding doors, bargain-basement plastics and skinny tires to the coarse-sounding engine that strains when faced with even the slightest incline, it exudes "cheap" from every ounce of its being. The Aveo also refutes the smart shopper's mantra "you get what you pay for." In the case of this captive Korean import, you pay little and get even less. - FW

9. Lincoln Mark LT Lincoln's badge engineered Ford F-150 is an unholy degradation of the world-famous Lincoln Mark nomenclature. While Brother Navigator sets the luxo-truck standard for wikkid beat boxes, wood-trimmed tillers, ventilated seats and power running boards, the LT went the adhesive-backed bling route, hit the showers and called it a day. From the richly textured but rock-hard interior plastics to the exterior's mega-dose of bottom-dollar spizzarkle, the Mark LT is a rolling testament to Dearborn's short-term, suicidal reliance on bean-counted engineering. - SM

8. Saab 9-7x The Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Moreover, the Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. I can't stand the fact that the Saab 9-7X is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. And when you stop and think about it, the Saab 9-7X is little more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Who did GM think they were fooling when they released the Saab 9-7X, which is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats? You know what I hate most about the Saab 9-7X? It's a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. - JL

7. Subaru B9 Tribeca Subaru execs may have been stony-faced when TTAC described the front end of their new SUV as a "flying vagina," but at least they didn't turn to stone. Given the unrelenting hideousness of the Tribeca's design- from its genital front end to its fallopian dash to its alien eyes rear end -- they should count themselves lucky. The fact that the B9 is also slow, thirsty and cramped proves that repulsiveness can be more than skin deep. Why Subaru felt the need to enter the SUV segment when it offers such a wide range of superb four wheel-drive sedans and wagons is anybody's guess. Clearly, they shouldn't have bothered. - RF

6. Chevrolet Monte Carlo The Chevrolet Monte Carlo is a wrong wheel-drive engineering joke from the late '80's. But it's main claim to shame is its merciless butchering of Chevy's once decadent "personal luxury" lines. In one fell swoop, the baroque fenders went from tacky-posh to adolescently unrefined. From the front, the Asian-inspired headlights assault the muscle car values once associated with this famous coupe. At the rear, sacrilege takes the form of taillights that look like a two-way bookshelf speaker that met the business end of a heat gun. Factor in various grades of interior panel gapping, Wal-Mart spec'd polymers and parts bin swapping with zero integration and you're done. - SM

5. Hummer H2 The Hummer H2 is a rebodied Yukotahoburbelade that's so damn heavy the IRS will give you a tax break because you just bought a piece of commercial farm equipment. It looks like a school bus from behind and a morbidly obese Cherokee from every other angle. It doesn't handle. Braking distances are straight from 1956. It gets less than 10mpg and takes longer than 10 seconds to reach 60. The chances that its owners will take it off-road are slimmer than the odds of Nicole Ritchie eating. Even the name sucks (literally): the H2 is a sad simulacrum of the first Gulf War winning off-road champ HUMVEE. While the H2 doesn't come with hair plugs, it tells the world that the man behind the wheel has a small penis, or brain, or both. - JL

4. Chrysler Aspen To quote Simon and Garfunkel, every way you look at this you lose. The Chrysler Aspen is a badge engineered Dodge Durango- an Olde School SUV at a time when its competition has either gone to work at McDonald's or headed for college. It's ugly. It's thirsty. It's slow. It's badly built. It's cramped. It's expensive. Chrysler is trying to flog this monstrosity as a blingmobile- which is like trying to sell cocaine as a sleep aid. Although the Aspen was an inexpensive- make that "cheap" way for the Dark Lords of DCX to expand the Chrysler brand portfolio, it's a perfect example of the old adage "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should." - RF

3. Buick Rendezvous Based on a 1997 minivan and introduced in 2002, the Rendezvous is a platform partner to the Chevrolet Venture, Pontiac Montana and Oldsmobile Silhouette, and a fraternal twin to the gruesome Pontiac Aztek. It's outlasted them all, creaking along with nothing more than a few trim changes and corporate-wide mechanical updates. The ungainly Rendezvous' ride, handling and performance are on par with... a 10-year-old minivan. In fact, the Rendezvous embodies everything that's brought GM to the brink: penny pinching, brand dilution and chronic neglect. It's set to be replaced by the Enclave, and not a moment too soon. - FW

2. Jeep Compass Props to DCX for trying to introduce an economical model for fans of the storied Jeep brand. A pox on their house for building the Compass. In this horror story, Dr. Frankenstein (played by the mustache-twirling Doktor Z) grafts round headlights and a seven-slot grill onto the face of a mediocre high-riding sedan (a.k.a. the Dodge Caliber). He throws the switch and an ugly, gangly, underpowered, mud-aversive half-breed staggers into the light, turning all who see it- or God forbid buy it- into grotesque, bobble-headed morons. The Compass stomps all over Jeep's reputation as America's purveyor of authentic off-road vehicles. It's time to get out your pitchforks. - WCM

1. GM Minivans Talk about retro-design. Rather than simply cop styling cues from bygone classics, GM built the Chevrolet Uplander, Saturn Relay, Buick Terraza and Pontiac SV6 using 25-year-old engineering. (Though not literally true, it's true enough.) In terms of dreadful driving dynamics, contemptible aesthetics and torturous ergonomics, no other vehicles sold in America can compete with these ridiculously-named "Crossover Sport Vans." For their antique engineering, woeful looks, cancerous effect on not one but four GM brands and their abject inability to hold a candle to their foreign-owned competition, GM's minivans earn The Truth About Cars' accolade as the worst vehicles currently for sale in America. - WCM

[jdeanski]

Originally posted by N_Jay
At first I was going to put this is "humor" but realized it was "news"
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5. Hummer H2 The Hummer H2 is a rebodied Yukotahoburbelade that's so damn heavy the IRS will give you a tax break because you just bought a piece of commercial farm equipment. It looks like a school bus from behind and a morbidly obese Cherokee from every other angle. It doesn't handle. Braking distances are straight from 1956. It gets less than 10mpg and takes longer than 10 seconds to reach 60. The chances that its owners will take it off-road are slimmer than the odds of Nicole Ritchie eating. Even the name sucks (literally): the H2 is a sad simulacrum of the first Gulf War winning off-road champ HUMVEE. While the H2 doesn't come with hair plugs, it tells the world that the man behind the wheel has a small penis, or brain, or both. - JL

WCM

The guy that wrote that has a lack of both..................

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by jdeanski


The guy that wrote that has a lack of both..................

You an H2 fan?

I did have to rent a AVEO once (last car available).

This guy is actually being very complementary!

[jdeanski]

Originally posted by N_Jay


You an H2 fan?

I did have to rent a AVEO once (last car available).

This guy is actually being very complementary!

I'd love to have one if I could afford it. I know several people who own them and these people are loaded with testorone. One's a former GaTech football player another was a fooball lineman for Central Florida another is a dentist and in the Army reserve that has made many 3 month tours in Iraq and says he'll keep going back. One older guy I know drives one, his wife is a retired Army nurse, she told him to buy it!

[ThePilotster]

Originally posted by jdeanski


The guy that wrote that has a lack of both..................

Maybe it was a women who couldnt get her husbands in the divorce

I wouldnt buy one as it's not for me... I know a contractor has an H1 for his hunting, H2 for everyday and his wife has the lil H3... he likes em

[bluefin]

IMHO the H2 is simply a status vehicle. I find it especially humorous when you see all the extra chrome hardware, and 24" wheels that you'd never dare take off road. You see more of them at the local Costco and weekend soccer game than you do on a trail. The upright window is a magnet for flying rocks and the gas mileage is horrible. Ever see how Consumer Reports rated them???? OUCH!!!

But hey...what else would you drive down to Fashion Island for the valet to park while you get your latte?

[OB3]

8. Saab 9-7x The Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Moreover, the Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. I can't stand the fact that the Saab 9-7X is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. And when you stop and think about it, the Saab 9-7X is little more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Who did GM think they were fooling when they released the Saab 9-7X, which is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats? You know what I hate most about the Saab 9-7X? It's a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. - JL

haaaa
i say the same thing when we pass one on the road, which is once every 5 months

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by bluefin
IMHO the H2 is simply a status vehicle. I find it especially humorous when you see all the extra chrome hardware, and 24" wheels that you'd never dare take off road. You see more of them at the local Costco and weekend soccer game than you do on a trail. The upright window is a magnet for flying rocks and the gas mileage is horrible. Ever see how Consumer Reports rated them???? OUCH!!!

But hey...what else would you drive down to Fashion Island for the valet to park while you get your latte?

I have a relative with one.

When he moved cross country he had to pack everything in his wife' Sequoia because nothing big would fit in the H2.

He had two H1s before it to get in and out of his mountain home in the winter.

For most drivers, I think that are a poor substitute for a Range Rover.

[sjlee]

Originally posted by bluefin
IMHO the H2 is simply a status vehicle. I find it especially humorous when you see all the extra chrome hardware, and 24" wheels that you'd never dare take off road.

I agree. Unless you're planning on doing some SERIOUS off-roading, you can find other SUVs with better performance (on-road), better reliability and better gas mileage.

Heck, for the size of the H2, you'd expect to have decent cargo space, but it has slightly less than the Pilot. Plus it can't seat as many as the Pilot.

Also, good luck trying to park it.

This is what happens when H2 owners think that they have a rock-crawler...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvLzjzoxgfY

[GreenMachine]

Originally posted by sjlee


I agree. Unless you're planning on doing some SERIOUS off-roading, you can find other SUVs with better performance (on-road), better reliability and better gas mileage.

Heck, for the size of the H2, you'd expect to have decent cargo space, but it has slightly less than the Pilot. Plus it can't seat as many as the Pilot.

Also, good luck trying to park it.

This is what happens when H2 owners think that they have a rock-crawler...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvLzjzoxgfY

It was painful to watch that video, mainly because I was thinking about how they got that monster down and to the repair shop, assuming they didn't have any spare tie rods around..

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by GreenMachine


It was painful to watch that video, mainly because I was thinking about how they got that monster down and to the repair shop, assuming they didn't have any spare tie rods around..

No problem.

Any piece of strait metal and some hose clamps. (not that I would ever do anything like break a tie-rod in the back woods)

[archie]

Few of those cars are truly terrible. Some might be overpriced. Some might be politically incorrect. Some might be easy targets. Some might be badge engineered. Some have styling that is easy to make fun of.

Could be some self important big mouth who claims to be a judge of everything just blowing hot air. Could be just a joke.

[bluefin]

6 out of 10 are GM's. hhmmmm

[N_Jay]

Originally posted by archie
Few of those cars are truly terrible. Some might be overpriced. Some might be politically incorrect. Some might be easy targets. Some might be badge engineered. Some have styling that is easy to make fun of.

Could be some self important big mouth who claims to be a judge of everything just blowing hot air. Could be just a joke.

Could be?
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/?cat=75